Speaking of Art

I am starting to believe more strongly that small talk is an art form, not just a necessary evil. I try to work at it; quite hard actually; I believe in its importance. It is, after all, a crucial stepping stone to friendship (with some exceptions, of course). I think small talk takes on the characteristic of an art form in that sometimes the harder you try, the more distorted it can become and the further you are from what it should be, or where you want to be. Overworking the drawing, you could say. It also seems to be something that can improve with practice: tear muscle to build muscle. I'm guessing that the Duchess of York is more refined in her social skills than the hermit living off in the mountains of Nepal. The old boy just needs practice! Small talk is also something that takes concentration. I remember reading in Strad magazine that the violinist Joshua Bell could concentrate so intently during the delivery of his rep, that he could change his fingering in a piece depending on what he was feeling at the moment of his performance. Not everyone can do that! That's gutsy! But it also means that broken concentration could be catastrophic. It could leave a musician wondering "Where am I?" and "Where do I go from here?". It's the same way with small talk. If you are not concentrating when you're talking with Michelle (Or was it Marsha?), you are never going to remember that she likes to go scuba diving for pirate's gold (Or was she talking about mold?).
For the sake of keeping things natural in conversation, practicing in order to get better, and keeping things interesting enough to hold your attention, I recommend the following small talk conversation tips. If somebody mentions the words "conflict" or "fight", insert the two words "cage match" in your next comment. If somebody mentions they are having a hard time doing something, kindly suggest the purchase of a pet monkey (useful creatures, they are). And if things go really down hill, where you are groping to find something salvageable from the conversation that has gone South to topics like the weather, you can always channel the conversation to picking out names for hurricanes. If the small talk gets to the point where it us just painful, another option is to quote someone semi-famous, and then to quietly slip away, but as LeVar Burton used to say "You don't have to take my word for it."

The Occupation of Elves

Sometimes the luxury of having options is overwhelming. I find this to be the case in the bread aisle at Dillons, and when I am picking out frames at the optometrist's. This dilemma even appears when I'm deciding what to do on a Saturday night; if you have two options the time space continuum demands that you make a choice, and in a timely manner as well (Chop! Chop! We don't have all day!). And sometimes the Luxury of Options reaches its fever pitch when it comes to thinking about occupations and life goals. In 10 years, someone in my demographic could become a Doctor or a dentist or a Dairy Queen worker. They can save up and go to facinating destinations all over the world, like Antartica or Siberia or... Baldwin City. Options are great, but they take energy if you want to address them properly, and for that reason it is easy to under-appreciate them.
During times like this, it can be good to compare yourself to others who do not have an abundance of options; those who are less fortunate. And in the less fortunate, I mean elves- a people group (...!...?) who are rather limited in their choice of occupation, because, as one of my brothers pointed out to me, what kind of jobs can you get if you are an elf? You can work in Santa's workshop (but he only takes you if you are clever and nimble, and rumour has it that they have maple syrup on everything in the cafeteria, so you have to like that). If you are an elf you can bake cookies in the Keebler tree (this is just speculation, but my bet is that even for as big as the trunk is, it's tight quarters). If you are an elf you can act in movies, like the Lord of the Rings (but they only accept you if you are extremely good looking), OR, if you are an elf, you can be a cobbler and sew up shoes (but you have to be willing to work nights). I might be missing one or two occupations, but you get the idea. Elves are extremely limited in their choice of occupation and none of them are terribly ideal. I might go as far as saying that elves are actually (and I am going to linger on this last word) suppressed.
So, I decided not to write a blog post on the difficulty of having options in life. I will choose to appreciate this luxury. Instead, I will leave you with the choice of clicking on the blog links off to the left side of the screen, posting a comment at the bottom of this blurp, doing other computerish tasks, or clicking off your computer and going for a walk- because it's a lovely day out today.

Brushing Shoulders with the Rich and Famous

Ann Geddes posterchild



Who knew that Elvis would grace his presence in Topeka?



I am not sure which movie she played in, but I'm almost positive this is a famous actress. She'd have to be, right? To wear a coat like that?

For Nuttin'

I can think of few things in life more exasperating than the realization that something was done in vain. And I will gladly give you some choice selections from my Experience Portfolio to illustrate what I mean. One example would be practicing for hours on a crazy-hard song to find in the end that it was never to reach the ears of an audience. With a maniacal fist shake I say "Those practice room walls better have enjoyed what they absorbed." Or another example of vain experience would be painstakingly stitching frog slippers for a friend, only to find out that the slippers were several sizes too small for the recipient of the gift (The slippers fit okay on their hands, though, which is a thought I often comfort myself with). Other things done in vain: thinking up the ultimate super power that I would choose to possess if I were indeed a super hero. But alas, even this in the end is vanity! Let's face it, that ingenious super mutation would never occur, even if I did happen upon a vat of radioactive goo or decided to drink mysterious liquid from a fuming beaker. Now I suppose you could rationalize each of these experiences, and say that those practice hours made me a better musician, and that those tiny stitches built up much needed hand muscles, and that those super hero musings were... okay, those were just a waste of time. But there are some things we could say were done just PARTIALLY in vain.
In addition to vain things in life, there's always the sneaking suspicion in the back of my mind that something MIGHT be done in vain, and therefore not worth my while. When I am in the throws of gathering up the guts to walk across a room to talk to someone who is standing alone at a social function, I think to myself "This could be for nothing." You gotta weigh the odds of whether that person wants to talk to someone who answers to your name, or if they would rather sip punch, or if you will be able to quickly think of anything worthwhile to talk about with them. Or maybe you're that punch sipping wallflower that's wondering why you even came to the party. Was it in vain that you used the gas money to drive you to where you are at? Or, say you're filling out a job application for the umpteenth time, and the thought occurs to you that filling out applications might just be a way that you are using your free time, you know, that it is turning into a hobby like fly fishing. Are you actually going to gain meaningful employment, or are you just filling in the provided blanks, like a form of silly sudoku? And at the pinnacle of those lurking vain thoughts rest deeper questions, like "What if I set my heart on something that I cannot have? Or that I cannot achieve? Or the timing is just super wrong? Is it going to be in vain?" Aye there's the rub! That's where things get tricky; when you are not very sure if something falls into the vain category or not; if something has the potential to lead to disapointment, or worse yet, a bit of pain.
All this is just a very round about way of saying that I like the following verse:

Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your toil is not in vain in the Lord. 1 Cor. 15:58

I think that says it all. Here is something you can stake everything on.