Monday, October 11, 2010

Timid Prayers

I have issues. Some of my problems stem from verses like Proverbs 15:29, “The LORD is far from the wicked, but He hears the prayer of the righteous.” You get similar verses in the Psalms about God hearing the righteous, and it is also reflected in the NT as well (James 5:16 for an example). The most unnerving aspect of these verses is that I do not FEEL righteous most of the time. Deep down I empathize more with being wicked. This has affected my prayer life. Sometimes I think “How righteous do I need to be for God to really hear my prayers? I know there are cracks in this kind of thinking, but these misgivings have caused me to restructure my moments of prayer. I think, “Well, it’s best to get the dirt on the table to begin with.” Clean vessels pray better, right? I really do believe that is true, but sometimes even after this process misgivings well up. What happened to coming before the throne with boldness? Hebrews 4:16 says “Let us therefore draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and may find grace to help in time of need.” this verse more than hints at the need to approach the throne not as a timid being, overly conscience of imperfection and caked on mud, but as… well, more like a warrior.

I was happy to learn that I was not alone in my mental gymnastics. Andree Seu, one of my favorite journalists, had an article in September’s issue of World magazine that struck a chord with me. She wrote:

“The Lord says when we come to Him we should come ‘without wavering’. What would ‘without wavering’ look like? I know full well what ‘wavering’ looks like: Maybe God is ticked off with me. Maybe God won’t answer because of what I did last night. Maybe I’m not forgiven. Maybe the request I am making is the kind of thing God doesn’t do anymore. Maybe that promise I thought I saw in the Bible pertains to the distant future only. Maybe that miracle was only for the time of Christ. Maybe that verse that looks like a promise is not really a promise but a principle. Maybe I’m not asking according to His will.”

Andree then proceeded to systematically map out verses and reasons why these “waverings” are lame. Highlighting verses that speak about there being a lack of an audience when it comes to condemnation (Romans 8:1, 1 John 3:20), and addressing each of the “waverings” head on.

Last night I went to a prayer meeting to help send off one of my friends to Lebanon. My mind started to wander towards the end of the meeting, and I had to direct myself back to focus. I needed to remember that we were in the middle of a battle and talking to someone omnipotent. The room was full of grey haired individuals; nothing wrong with that; just a little bit of a rough turnout for my generation. And as I looked around the room afterwards, I had to smile, realizing what a rag tag group we were. We didn’t carry the look of an unabashed conquering army, but still, it was an army. And being yanked back to reality during the prayer time, the importance of what we were doing struck me. It made me resolve to throw out the “waverings” as they show their ugly faces. There is quite a bit on the line here: evangelism, the future of the church, and personal growth just to name a few. We, as Christians are indeed at war. We cannot afford to pray like a bunch of pansies. It’s not in the budget, nor has it ever been.

Psalm 145:18 "The LORD is near to all who call upon Him, to all who call upon Him in truth."

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow, Heather. This gives me a lot to ponder. Thank you!

Anonymous said...

As we were traveling, it came to me very clearly the song- "Am I a soldier of the cross, a follower of the Lamb? And, shall I fear to own His cause or blush to speak His Name? In the Name of Christ the King, Who has purchased life for me, through grace I'll win the promised crown, what e'er my cross may be."